How Being a Mom Is Healing My Inner Child by Rei

How Being a Mom Is Healing My Inner Child

By Rei

I came to the realization that I am working to become the mom I should be without comparing myself to others. Instead, I’m doing this by tapping into my inner child. Being a mom is healing my inner child.

Mom friends often tell me that I work too hard. “What…?” It didn’t make any sense to me. From my point of view, they do much more than me. I don’t make gourmet foods, my kids have fewer lessons, spend less time at the park, and so on. I’m surrounded by what I think of “dedicated moms” who are so into gourmet cooking, sewing, volunteering at school, enrolling children in many lessons, and more. I don’t fit into that category, but I don’t feel bad about it. I’m still able to listen or find other conversations with them. I am fortunate to have people who understand me and my circumstances.

“I am working to become the mom I should be without comparing myself to others.

Therefore, I focus on things that were missing from my childhood that I wish I had. 

I am a mother who goes through their homework, takes them out to have different experiences, makes healthy food and the list goes on. By the way, sadly my expectations are not that high….I am over my capacity running by myself. When I don’t meet my expectations, I am taken over by guilt. Over time, I loosened up a bit by telling myself “It is ok.” My good intentions to my children end up with a tired upset mom who doesn’t have any energy left to play with them.

Now with this quarantine, spending more time with my children has healed my inner child. I was able to let go the majority of belief by seeing my children full of possibilities. I’m much more laid back.

I believe that children choose their mother. My soul was not aligned with the mother they chose. I was trying too hard to make an effort for this role. Often we hear to love our children unconditionally for whom s/he is. This works both ways. I know they love me unconditionally as well. However, they are their own person, and they are here to experience THEIR own lives, not mine. 

“My children have been the toughest and the greatest teachers.”

Finally, my kids and I are free and live in harmony. 

As I finished writing this blog, (my kids don’t know about), my son called me and his sister to show us something, a Japanese song called “Only Flower in the World” (see the lyrics at the bottom) that his teacher introduced to the class last year. I might have heard of it, but never paid close attention to the lyrics. Tears didn’t stop falling as I listened. It was just perfect timing and confirmation. I felt it in my soul. For sure, they are here to teach me lessons. They have been the toughest and the greatest teachers, so far.

So, Thank you for choosing me as your mother.

“Only Flower in the World”

Look at the flowers that stand in the shop

Each has a beauty that makes your heart stop

We all have our favorites, but one thing is sure

Flowers will bloom with a beauty that’s pure

Which one among us is better than the rest?

No competition, no need to contest

There in the buckets, the flowers stand tall

Heads held in pride far above it all

Yet why do we people do what we do?

Always wanting to compare?

Fighting each other to get to the top?

When we all have a treasure so rare

Why don’t we get it?

In this wide world you are one of a kind

Cherish your beauty, there’s no need to hide it

Each of us holding a different seed

Just be yourself, that is all you need

Small flowers, big flowers, all kinds of flowers

You’ll never find any one that’s the same

No need to struggle to be the best

Just be yourself, be the ONLY ONE.

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How Being an Empath Can Lead to Getting to Know Yourself by Abbie Vanessa

How Being an Empath Can Lead to Getting to Know Yourself

by Abbie Vanessa

Some people are more in tune with their emotions than others. Those people are known as empaths. I believe it is a fantastic quality to be in tune with your emotions and understanding what/how another person is dealing with their life. Have you ever connected to someone so easily it FREAKED you out? People made it seem as a negative thing to be “sensitive” and understand your emotions, but being an empath can lead to getting to know yourself.

“I believe it is a fantastic quality to be in tune with your emotions.”

First of all, fuck everyone who makes us feel like we are less stable for understanding and actually allowing us to experience a beautiful thing…EMOTIONS. Being an empathic person is more common in females, but can also be men.

Certain traits that can make you an empath: 

  • Always on the lookout for the truth
  • Have a heart of gold
  • Overwhelmed in crowded places
  • Sense when people are lying (I’m not talking about when you caught your boyfriend or girlfriend cheating for the 5th time).

Emotions overwhelm empathic people. These emotions can lead to:

If you don’t learn how to understand it, you can get to a place in life where everything becomes overwhelming. As an empathic person my heart runs heavy almost every day. All of the emotions I feel especially when taking on someone else’s is so overwhelming.

Growing up I was a super sensitive person and was ashamed of it; I hid it very well from everyone. In the last couple of years I realized how easily it was to connect with others as well as feel exactly what they were feeling when they would talk, tell me stories, or even spill their emotions to me. I would not be able to shake it off for days. When I would be around people I would read the energy in the room and know exactly how someone was feeling. It’s so strong I can’t ignore it and I tend to help whomever needs it.

“All of the emotions I feel especially when taking on someone else’s is so overwhelming.”

It’s very hard to watch intense movies or documentaries which is tough for me because I enjoy a lot of crime series. So basically what I’m trying to say is that I cry almost every time there’s a strong crazy scene. Being in the people business I had to learn to leave all of the energy and emotions that I would get from my clients at work. When I get home I just sink into my bed and it feels like I’ve just completed a long hike. 

I had to learn to leave all of the energy and emotions that I would get from my clients at work.”

I first noticed that I was empathic when I analyzed my relationships with people and how it would make me feel. The way I would react and how my emotions would be affected.

Recently, I befriended this girl I had met through another friend and we hit it off so well. We started to text everyday and hang out often. Someone had finally matched my personality until everything got too emotional. This friend started to get very possessive. She demanded me to be there whenever she had an issue, big or small. I felt so low and emotionally drained after all that drama and it was tough because I rarely deal with situations like that. I decided to take a break from this friend because every emotion was too extreme for me to handle. After removing myself from it cold turkey I was back to being calm and happier. I wasn’t crying from panicking too much.

There was a time in my life where I hit a very low point and I just didn’t want to feel anything anymore. I used to admire people who just brushed most things off and went on like nothing happened to them. Literally I held on to all these emotions that didn’t serve me any purpose.

I got so tired of being taken over by my feelings, but also I realized that I wouldn’t want to be the kind of person that is not attuned with her emotions. Finally, I realized that I have to embrace and understand this part of me. My lesson, I realized that I have to be pickier about how I spend my time and with whom. Yoga, meditation, and of course Winston helps me reboot everything and live in the moment. 

Afterall, I just needed a place to forget the world and just be in the moment and silence my head. Because that bitch can get way too loud. I learned how to be alone for the first time, which is huge for me. Being around so many people my whole life I became an extroverted person, even the thought of being alone terrified me.

I get overwhelmed if I’m around people 24/7. NOW my alone time is one of the most precious things I have. And no one is worth me sacrificing my “me time.”

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Dealing With Life During Coronavirus By Marquesa Lola

Dealing With Life During Coronavirus

By Marquesa Lola

It was New Year’s Day of 2020 and I felt that “annus horribilis” was finally over. I could have not predicted that the upcoming months were going to be the worst and more surreal of my life. When a new virus appeared in China at the end of last year, I did not pay much attention to the news, I did not panic, why should I? After all, we were safe; it was not affecting us here in the USA. Little I knew that an epidemic that started in China in December was going to change our lives. When I started my confinement in March I did not realize we were looking at the most dangerous and scary world health crisis many of us have ever experienced.  

“I did not realise we were looking at the most dangerous and scary world health crisis many of us have ever experienced.”  

I am a school teacher and I am used to earthquakes and fire drills, hence, I am prepared to tackle most emergencies at school. However, no one had prepared me to endure the effects of a pandemia dangerous enough to close our schools and turn our lives upside down for months. Friday 13th of March, we were told by our school principal that this was going to be the last day with our students until further notice. At that very moment, I realized the severity of the problem. Life the way I had known and was familiar to me ended that day. 

I have been in confinement for 7 weeks now, teaching from home and looking into August as a possible date to return to school. And here I am teaching from my living room. What seemed like an easy task on the first day of quarantine, has proven to be very challenging for teachers, parents, and students. As a teacher, I have been bombarded with endless remote teaching platforms. It almost seems they had been lurking around for years to surface at the exact moment, the precise moment a major pandemic would imprison us in our own houses for months. And now, I find myself researching and receiving webinars daily.  There are so many resources, it is hard to select one. Every district has adopted a different platform fomenting inconsistency in our students’ learning. 

During this pandemic parents are also suffering. They have been compelled to sit with their kids for hours explaining concepts, realizing in the process that teachers are actually working very hard during the COVID-19 pandemic and they will continue after this mess is over.  As a consequence of COVID-19, however,  it has become evident to society that teachers actually “do” teach for six hours a day and it is not as simple a task as some may think. As a consequence, I find parents sending emails of appreciation daily. 

But the real victims are the students. Students can’t wait to go back to school and retake their normal routine. I get messages every day from my students telling me how much they miss their peers and me. The lesson I believe we have learned is that none of the teaching platforms, technology, or online resources will ever replace the human touch of a teacher. Teachers do much more than the pure dissemination of information.  Teachers nurture the soul of  children and allow them to become curious about the world; it is then when learning happens. 

“Teachers nurture the soul of  children and allow them to become curious about the world.

An online conference with students will never replace the human contact and the love a teacher can provide for students. I know I will not be able to grab my microphone so I don’t strain my voice when I read a tantalizing story to my students. I miss our classroom Friday meetings where we fine tune our class democracy project. 

This year, my students will not have the opportunity to finish building our Never-Before Seen city in which we role play life situations and practice our classroom community building. We will not have the opportunity to go to Science Camp together and have the best time of our lives learning about biology, astrology, and community bonding. My fifth graders will not get to walk on Culmination Day. They will not learn how much they have meant to me and to their friends. Finally, I will not get to hug them any time soon.

I know this pandemic is out of my control and I can’t do much to stop it except taking the advice and staying home, but I feel frustrated because I cannot help my students  accomplish the dreams they had for the last three months of our lives together. Those days and months, I feel, have been stolen from our lives forever by a microscopic intruder named Coronavirus.

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COVID-19 Hits the World by Rei

COVID-19 Hits the World

By Rei

As an individual, COVID-19 affected me in many ways. I think that fear brings stress , stress weakens the immune system. I have not only witnessed how COVID-19 has affected our society but also our planet. Although I am not physically affected by the virus, the energy circling the world has affected me in ways I didn’t expect.

But my life isn’t just only me, I am a mother of two, and coronavirus has impacted me as a mom the most. In a paranoia mode, people started to buy things they think are primary necessities without considering others’ needs. I experienced fear and stress when going grocery shopping and seeing shelves wiped clean of essential resources I NEED to provide for my children.  

“The energy circling the world has affected me in ways I didn’t expect.”

Soon after, the orders of being quarantined at home came. As of now, Los Angeles will practice stay-at-home order from 3/19 to 5/15, and schools will be closed for this school year. Until then children are going to have remote learning and homeschooling. In Los Angeles, all parks, beaches and hiking paths are closed. Social distancing is required for 6 feet, this is quite challenging with all aspects in life. Wearing face masks is mandatory outside. I would never imagine that we are going through this.

I always had a feeling that the world would be so different when my kids grew up. I believe that things happen for a reason, so there is something to learn from this opportunity. We have been given this time to focus on our families and ourselves.

So far, as a single mother of two, who was always exhausted and juggling, it has given me some realizations. I noticed that I am not as tired as I was before this pandemic. Before my regular day was getting up at 5:30am to start the day by making their breakfast and lunch boxes, driving the kids to two different schools and all their activities, spending time at the park, helping with the homeworks, and all of that being pressured with how to manage the time during the day to accomplish this schedule make me exhausted. Their homework brought a lot of mental and physical challenges. So, the idea of being with my kids all day long, for such a long period of time, was stressing me. 

However, the quarantine brings me a totally different perspective and calm that I did not expect. I haven’t had this feeling for such a long time; my kids are so cute.  I am not yelling (as much)! I even get to play with them and have time to teach chores and other things that schools don’t teach. Instead of spending too much time studying, we are focusing on activities such as cooking, practicing yoga, meditating, playing cards, doing Origami, taking a short walk etc. It will take sometime to adjust to distance learning, but it is a new concept for everyone: schools, children and parents.  I am taking advantage of this time with my kids with more fun and full of smiles. 

I am not only seeing how COVID-19 affects me as a mother and witnessing how it has affected our society but also our planet. As a global citizen, I see what is happening in the world as Earth goes through detox. We as humans took it for granted; we have too much focus on things we don’t necessarily need. Too much pollution for profits and pleasures for 7.8 billion people. We lost the harmony we once had with the Earth. As reported, many parts of Earth have better air and water qualities, animals are enjoying nature…. It is an unfortunate way to give all of us a wake up call. I believe that  we chose our paths before we were born though we don’t remember our soul missions. Those people who have lost their lives or suffered from this virus are true heroes to awaken us.

“I see what is happening in the world as Earth goes through detox.”

As a mother, going through this time with my children, I am seeing clearly that they are experiencing things that are more important in life, and sharing the quality time as family. I noticed that my children and I are more relaxed and smiling. I see this is a wake up call from earth to us. A teaching how we need to live in harmony and preserve the Earth for the future generation, as well as shifting the way we are with our system.  I deeply hope it will be a new beginning that will bring the best of us and how we interact with Earth. In the spiritual community, it has been said that Spring Equinox day (the first day of Spring) which was March 19 this year, was going to have a big shift. We are awakening, it is a new beginning. It gave me the “AHA!” moment I was waiting for.

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About Rei

About Rei

I am Rei. Born and raised in Japan. Although my heritage is Japanese I have lived in many places: New York, Vancouver, Virginia, Tennessee. For the last 12 years I have lived in Los Angeles.

Out of everywhere I have temporarily settled, LA is where my heart truly calls home. Even though the only family I have here are my children. I am a single mom with two handful young children. My marriage that I stayed in for 20 years ended a couple years ago.

For more than half of my life I spent it feeling stuck which led me to become miserable. I had to knock down many belief systems of what marriage meant to me. Growing up with the belief that marriage requires sacrifice and arguing was a part of it. I realized that was the wrong way to envision a marriage.

For years, I ended up managing my marriage by taking control of organizing and managing every detail of our lives. Ultimately, my “marriage” ended in divorce. In a way, divorce saved me. Facing myself alone made me gain back my lost soul.

“Facing myself alone made me gain back my lost soul.”

The best gift my marriage gave me was motherhood. My kids are the only ones who have honestly kept me pushing forward. Being a mother is underrated, and I had no idea how much work being a mom really is… it is a huge struggle for me. In my heart I know it is one of my life’s missions. 

In search of a way to end the cycle of my unhappy marriage, life lead me down a spiritual path. I believe that everything happens for a reason. I came across a technique called Bodytalk. BodyTalkers refocus your body’s natural healing response to establish better communication within the body.  It respects the body’s own needs and determines your body’s priorities for healing. Learning and practicing this holistic approach to healing inspired me to become a BodyTalk and Reiki practitioner. I am grateful that I was able to find this path which helped me let go of belief systems to move forward in my life.  I truly feel grateful about this journey which has led me to a place where I finally feel whole. I accept who I am, I do not need anyone’s validation.  

For requesting a BodyTalk Session, please contact

I decided to join this community, because I believe that sharing my stories can help others. 

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About Marquesa Lola

About Marquesa Lola

My mother calls me Dolores, my friends and family call me LOLA,  my students call me Maestra. But I see myself as MARQUESA LOLA the nurturer of a pack that conforms my life.

I am a 60 years old active woman, who was recently emotionally wounded by a life partner. But my life is not defined by this fact, but rather it is defined by my origins. 

I was born in a small town in the Basque Country under the dictatorship of Francisco Franco. As a little girl, society tried to mold me to conform to rules designed to create  perfect submissive future wives. Going to university was relegated to rich males and few privileged females. Only, none predicted that under all the repression, I, along with many girls like me, were educating ourselves to become independent, liberal, working women. And at the age of 15, when Franco died, I was ready for a life transformation that included demonstrations, education, travels, and new wild experiences. 

As I found Spain to be, still, restrictive, at 20 years old, I traded Spain for London and there, I learned the courage and strategies to feel independent to survive in a man’s world.  Then, I met my partner of 40 years. He brought me to America and we pursued the American Dream. It seemed fine for a while until I realized I had lost my freedom under his wings.

” I learned the courage and strategies to feel independent to survive in a man’s world. “

Nevertheless, I am a resilient person and despite him, I managed to find my dream job as a teacher, completed a masters degree, received various teaching awards, made many true friends, and the best gift of all, I had an amazing son. 

I took care of his sick mother for years, and, yes, at the age of 60, my life partner left me for someone new and younger.

A passion I have, aside from teaching, is fashion. Fashion defines my moods on a daily basis. It helps masquerade my sorrow at times and accentuates my happiness. I love fashion, because it allows me to express my creativity in a non-threatening way. My clothes never argue with me or judge me. They are happy to cover my aging body with textures and colors I select. They seem to say, “you go girl!” I want to inspire others, who have similar views and experiences in life. 

“Antes Muerta que Sencilla”

“I’d rather be dead than be caught being a basic girl!”

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About Abbie Vanessa

About Abbie Vanessa

The day I decided to ignore what everyone wanted me to do was the day I finally figured out who I was as a person. Hello! Let me start by introducing myself ! The name is Abigail Vanessa Rincon, but you can refer to me as Abbie.

I am a hairstylist with a big personality; some may say it’s bigger than my hair. Most importantly I am a mother of a handsome baby pug named Winston Pasquale Frijolito.

Being an ugly awkward child forced me to develop a BIG personality for people to focus on my comedic, silly, and quirky ways. Over the years I noticed that telling jokes was my way of making friends.

I pushed the limits on how weird I could get with people, and no one seemed to be bothered by how dorky I was. With time I realized that I wanted to find a career that matched my personality as well as created a social atmosphere.

My journey to become a hairstylist has been an interesting one. I originally tried the traditional college for years and I was bored out of my mind. I thought back to when my brother peer pressured me to cut my hair extremely short. I was only a kid, when my mom saw my haircut she was devastated. Her judgement brought a lot of insecurities into my life. I would search YouTube for ways to style my hair to prove to my mom how stylish my hair really was. It wasn’t until years later,  despite my family’s approval, that I decided I wanted to be a hairstylist. At the end of the day this is my life, my decisions, and my future. For the last three years, my career has flourished into one of my greatest accomplishments. 

“At the end of the day this is my life, my decisions, and my future.”

I established a career for myself, but what next? Well… One of my other life long dreams was to be a pug mom, not just a “dog mom” but a PUG MOM. The sight of a pug brought such joy and happiness to my soul. You don’t understand…when I say I am obsessed with pugs, I truly mean I AM OBSESSED!!! For years I tried to convince my roommate aka my mom to let me have a pug of my own. The answer was always “NO” because she was concerned with the cleanliness of the house. Finally after successfully executing my clever yet artistic plan to warm my mom’s heart, I got the “YES” I had always hoped for. 

It’s difficult for me to express how much my little Winston means to me. After all the obstacles I went through to get him I now suffer from separation anxiety. I take him everywhere with me, including work, and everyone’s instant reaction when they see him is “Awwwwwww.” 

In a nutshell, that is my life. I’m a Pug Mom with a big personality who has to keep an eye out for my clients who try to steal my child. Honestly, I don’t blame them, if I wasn’t his mom I would try to take him home as well. 

The day that I decide to listen to my voice, and only my voice, is the moment I figure out who I was. There are a lot of things life still teaches me; from continuing to discover new aspects of myself to how to be the best mom for Winston. At the end of the day life is our journey, a journey that Winston and I want to share with you. 

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Thoughts That Came to Mind Because of Coronavirus by Abbie Vanessa

Thoughts That Came to Mind Because of Coronavirus

By Abbie Vanessa

Oh Corona, I have mixed emotions about life right now. The more I think about life at this moment the scarier the thought becomes. Let me explain, we have all been affected by this pandemic in different ways. Lost our jobs, Schools getting shut down, people losing their homes, and people who don’t even have homes. So many lives have been lost. 

I count my blessing every day and I’m grateful that I have a family to be with and not having to worry about where i’ll sleep or if i’ll be able to eat tomorrow. I had to stop going on social media and using the internet for a bit in the beginning. I was so overwhelmed with how much greed, nastiness, and selfishness I was seeing.

NOT EVEN DEATH scared people enough to say “Shit maybe I should just stay home.” DOESN’T THAT BLOW YOUR MIND?

Can’t people stop complaining about staying home if it meant saving your moms, grandmas, sisters, brothers, nieces, nephews and dads life? Just a thought though.

We are struggling and dealing with our own shit, but we can be selfless for just a bit to save each other! Now that had me thinking about how I haven’t been as great as I use to be as a human. 

“We can be selfless for just a bit to save each other.”

I use to volunteer anywhere I could to help out anyone who needed it.

I’ve gotten so wrapped up in work that I just thought about myself and my future and how am I going to be a successful adult !!! A whole two years distracted  from work had me slipping and forgetting about what I really wanted to do in life. Makes me sad living in an environment that easily distracts you from understanding that life is more than just work. When do we just stop and say, “what I have is enough!!” Here is a question I like asking people, What do you value in life aside from this career?” This is more than just a thought. MONEY is not everything. Crazy that if you don’t have enough or any at all you are worthless. This is more than a thought. Thats the reality we accept.

Living in LA, a city where it’s sunny full of beautiful talented people. Sure, thats literally a small part of LA because there’s so much thats being hidden and dismissed. You know what it really looks like? Empty old buildings, streets full of homeless people and trash. It is everywhere and it’s only going to get worse.

By the way, not everyone you see living on the streets have a drug or alcohol problem. It could happen to anyone regardless of not having those difficulties. Most people are living pay check to pay check. Having to come up with money for car payment, car insurance, health insurance , phone bills, rent, school, and ohhh man I can keep going, but I’m sure you get the idea.

IT’S FUCKING RIDICULOUS. We are all in the same position and no one is safe from this. If Corona hasn’t shown you that yet…idk what will.

Getting laid off and not having that security of a full time job can easily be taken away. Doesn’t matter how smart, hardworking, or how much money you make for a company. Stop thinking you are untouchable and above others.

So please, next time you see someone thats in need, think of what you can give away. Supplies, food, clothes, even spend a few dollars on soap to give to them. The small things still matter. No one deserves to have to live that way. This is a great time to sit down and think about how we could be more united and helpful to our own communities to become better humans! To me that doesn’t seem so hard. What a dream to have, right? I know getting everyone to actually want to be a decent human being is impossible but I hope whoever reads this actually wants to change. Even if it’s within your own reality. Be kind, be loving, help a stranger whenever the opportunity arrives, and never expect anything in return. Correct others when they sound stupid as hell with their ignorant ass and guide them to be better. Too many quiet people that allow shit to slide. Also a thought. 

“We could be more united and helpful to our own communities to become better humans!”


Aside from becoming a better human being here are some things you can do today,

Go for a walk, meditate, read a book, learn a new skill , limit your screen time, fucking get a plant growing, create a vision board. Stay safe and always focus on the bigger picture and don’t get stuck thinking about the things that were taken away from you.

Take a breath and remember that you are capable of literally anything you want to put your mind to. Before sharing kindness and love to others, start by looking into a mirror everyday and appreciating what you have in in this life. Here I will help… 

“Whats up you beautiful creature, cheers to another day of being healthy and looking sexy as hell!!! What I have is enough and I can’t wait to see what is coming my way today.”     

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