How Being a Mom Is Healing My Inner Child

By Rei

I came to the realization that I am working to become the mom I should be without comparing myself to others. Instead, I’m doing this by tapping into my inner child. Being a mom is healing my inner child.

Mom friends often tell me that I work too hard. “What…?” It didn’t make any sense to me. From my point of view, they do much more than me. I don’t make gourmet foods, my kids have fewer lessons, spend less time at the park, and so on. I’m surrounded by what I think of “dedicated moms” who are so into gourmet cooking, sewing, volunteering at school, enrolling children in many lessons, and more. I don’t fit into that category, but I don’t feel bad about it. I’m still able to listen or find other conversations with them. I am fortunate to have people who understand me and my circumstances.

“I am working to become the mom I should be without comparing myself to others.

Therefore, I focus on things that were missing from my childhood that I wish I had. 

I am a mother who goes through their homework, takes them out to have different experiences, makes healthy food and the list goes on. By the way, sadly my expectations are not that high….I am over my capacity running by myself. When I don’t meet my expectations, I am taken over by guilt. Over time, I loosened up a bit by telling myself “It is ok.” My good intentions to my children end up with a tired upset mom who doesn’t have any energy left to play with them.

Now with this quarantine, spending more time with my children has healed my inner child. I was able to let go the majority of belief by seeing my children full of possibilities. I’m much more laid back.

I believe that children choose their mother. My soul was not aligned with the mother they chose. I was trying too hard to make an effort for this role. Often we hear to love our children unconditionally for whom s/he is. This works both ways. I know they love me unconditionally as well. However, they are their own person, and they are here to experience THEIR own lives, not mine. 

“My children have been the toughest and the greatest teachers.”

Finally, my kids and I are free and live in harmony. 

As I finished writing this blog, (my kids don’t know about), my son called me and his sister to show us something, a Japanese song called “Only Flower in the World” (see the lyrics at the bottom) that his teacher introduced to the class last year. I might have heard of it, but never paid close attention to the lyrics. Tears didn’t stop falling as I listened. It was just perfect timing and confirmation. I felt it in my soul. For sure, they are here to teach me lessons. They have been the toughest and the greatest teachers, so far.

So, Thank you for choosing me as your mother.

“Only Flower in the World”

Look at the flowers that stand in the shop

Each has a beauty that makes your heart stop

We all have our favorites, but one thing is sure

Flowers will bloom with a beauty that’s pure

Which one among us is better than the rest?

No competition, no need to contest

There in the buckets, the flowers stand tall

Heads held in pride far above it all

Yet why do we people do what we do?

Always wanting to compare?

Fighting each other to get to the top?

When we all have a treasure so rare

Why don’t we get it?

In this wide world you are one of a kind

Cherish your beauty, there’s no need to hide it

Each of us holding a different seed

Just be yourself, that is all you need

Small flowers, big flowers, all kinds of flowers

You’ll never find any one that’s the same

No need to struggle to be the best

Just be yourself, be the ONLY ONE.

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